


Guilty

by Birkastan2018



Series: Guilty AU [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Guilty AU, Icha Icha Series, Itaizu - Freeform, NaruHina - Freeform, No Uchiha Massacre, Non-Massacre AU, SasuSaku - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 23:50:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17611421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birkastan2018/pseuds/Birkastan2018
Summary: A romance/fluff/humor piece involving a misplaced volume of Icha Icha, role play, confusion, and a heartfelt love kept under wraps... How long before everything goes down in a big pile of doodoo?





	1. Annoying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Naruto Fanfiction fans, this is my first stab at writing a fanfiction piece… Just wanted to put it out there to try and contribute some content of my own to this amazing community and pay homage to some of my favorite stories and authors.
> 
> A bit of background: "Guilty" was inspired by the story "The Planning of a Matriarch" by ChronicallyChill (aka Pain-somia on tumblr and Tomaday on AO3). It was the very first fanfiction story I ever read, and it is absolutely INCREDIBLE.
> 
> Finally, this is obvious but of course I must include this: I OWN NOTHING. NARUTO AND ALL CHARACTERS RELATED TO THE NARUTO MANGA IS OWNED BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Rating: M for language and sexually suggestive content

 

 

"Okaeri, Sasuke."

Sasuke tried to avoid looking Itachi in the face when he returned home from his medical appointment. A master observer, there was nothing his Nii-san ever failed to notice, after all. Which is why Sasuke had taken extra care after his afternoon  _romp_  to try and work his hair down into something manageable and smooth out his clothing as best he could before he left the hospital. He even lathered that awful antiseptic gel the reception desk always had for visitors on his hands, hoping it would mask any telltale scents. His girlfriend, of course, hadn't been much help at all. She merely giggled at his pathetic attempts to tame his duck-butt hair and only riled him up further by provocatively hooking a slender white finger ever so teasingly back into the waistband of his shinobi pants.

Really, she was just soooo…  _annoying._

Ten years ago he never would have imagined that he'd find himself where he was earlier that afternoon. He tried to resist, but his girlfriend was so damned  _annoying_  with her piercing jade eyes, long, lustrous petal colored hair, pillowy pink lips, creamy soft skin, that tiny little waist offset by her perfectly sloped hips and a pair of the most perky, curvaceous… noooo, no no no….  _wait_. Sasuke inwardly groaned. His near irrepressible attraction to her was downright humiliating. He was an Uchiha, dammit. Shouldn't he have better control over things like this? He told himself that his insatiable  _need_  for her was just the byproduct of not having enjoyed regular… ermm…  _relations_ , with her for the past two months given his training with the Dobe for their upcoming jounin exam. But really, who was he kidding? When did he ever not feel this way about her?

If the village gossip mill could be believed (and Sasuke knew first hand better than anyone that the rumors about his girlfriend's desirability were true), no hot blooded healthy man in his right mind could have resisted her. Who would have thought his itty bitty little wisp of a teammate would grow up to be such a knockout?! Haruno Sakura had always been a pretty girl, he wouldn't deny that. But her once delicate, doe-like features evolved into a truly striking and exotic sort of beauty, and matched with that tight, petite body built for sin, well… One had to have been blind and stupid not to notice Konoha's sweetheart. And Uchiha Sasuke was neither.

Which is why, what was supposed to be an innocuous mandatory physical for all jounin exam participants in her office at Konoha General earlier that afternoon ended up taking a…  _carnal_  turn.

After returning his Nii-san's bemused look with a rushed " _gonnachangebeforedinner_ ", Sasuke all but fled up the stairs to his room two steps at a time, and only when he closed his door did allow himself a moment to replay the events of the day in his mind. In truth, he hadn't seen Sakura much at all over the past two months. (Okay, fine. That wasn't entirely accurate, because there was that  _much too brief_  rendezvous they shared at his house a few days ago…) But that didn't count, Sasuke insisted to himself. After all, that was just a desperate quickie that they managed to squeeze in when Sakura arrived at the Uchiha main house for Itachi's previously scheduled eye appointment, only to find that her patient was running 15 minutes late. Which was just enough time to… get off, technically, except not  _exactly_  because their short session had really only left Sasuke deliriously wanting  _more._

Seriously though, other than that shortest of quickies 72 hours ago, he'd hardly seen her over the past two months. Although he and Naruto were temporarily off the mission roster so they could prepare for the upcoming exam, he and Sakura had mutually agreed that maintaining some distance for the time being was best so he could remain unilaterally focused on his training. The exams would take place this weekend, which meant he'd be able to see her at a more regular cadence soon enough. But he never thought seeing her today for an extended period of time for the first time  _in what felt like forever_  would hit him like a  _ **freight train**_.

He thought back to the vision she made in her immaculate white medic's coat, how her already long and lithe, creamy legs seemed endless in a pair of black heeled sandals, the generous swell of her breasts underneath that tightly fitting red sheath dress and the way her sheet of cotton candy hair had been haphazardly piled up into a lazy bun to show off her smooth and slender neck to advantage… it had all been too much for him to resist. Combined with her distinct floral and strawberry scent gently wafting off her soft hair and delicate collar bone… Sasuke was a man gone.

It didn't help that upon finally pulling her close for a searing kiss, his hands over her tightly toned and perfectly rounded backside quickly revealed that  _she wasn't wearing any underwear_. Then and there, Sasuke knew he had not only lost the battle –  _but the war_. One look at the seductive gleam in her eye disclosed everything he needed to know. She had planned this all along knowing he'd be at her office today for his physical… the little  _minx._  Despite himself, Sasuke couldn't help the smug self-satisfied smile that crept over his face at the memory of the heated mind blowing sex they'd had in her office that afternoon. Sure, it was a fantasy he had harbored since they started seeing each other romantically a year ago… but it wasn't one he thought he'd ever get to fulfill given Sakura's position at the hospital and her sterling professionalism. That was the thing about his childhood teammate-turned girlfriend-turned lover though; she never ceased to surprise and amaze him with her aggressive and direct nature when it came to the physical side of their relationship.

As much as he loathed to admit it, thoughts of her ( _and their less than innocent activities together_ ) had a tendency to preoccupy his mind lately whether he liked it or not. And it wasn't that he enjoyed sneaking around. They'd been at it for a year already, for crying out loud. In fact, the sheer number of beyond irritating romantic advances she fielded on a daily basis from male shinobi and civilians alike was almost aggravating enough to make him want to shout his claim over Konoha's most beloved pink haired medic from the top of Hokage Tower amidst a rain of Kirin. (Okay, maybe not with Kirin… maybe that was overkill).

This desire to keep their romantic involvement under wraps had nothing to do with her, or their relationship. The clan council would be prickly about it, to be sure, given Sakura's civilian background - regardless of the amazing person she was, her incredible shinobi skills or her tutelage under the Godaime. He knew most of his family couldn't care less and would love Sakura all the same… but he also knew from experience that the elders could be problematic and had a noteworthy talent of being able to make one's life miserable or at the very least, extremely unpleasant… if they felt like it.

Sasuke also knew from experience that there would only be so much even his mother could do to protect Sakura from the elders' vitriol. While Sasuke spent his entire life trudging through the mire that was the clan's impossible standards and was quite used to navigating the feelings of inadequacy that the elders seemed to dole out like candy – he couldn't and wouldn't subject Sakura to that. Not when he was aware of her sensitivities and all of the hard work and sacrifice she had gone through as a genin and later as the Godaime's apprentice to better herself, advance her skills, finally achieve her Byakugō seal and prove her worth as an integral shinobi to the village. No, she didn't deserve that… not at all. Sasuke would be sure to keep their relationship on the down low until he figured out a way to keep the elders out of it.

On top of his clan's pain-in-the ass politics, both Sakura and Sasuke knew they would also have to deal with the epic avalanche of cooing and the incessant talk of weddings and grandbabies that they'd be hit with if Uchiha Mikoto were to ever catch wind of their change in status _._ As the most in-demand surgical resident at Konoha General and the Medic-on-Call of choice for the main houses of Konoha's noble clans, the sheer daily force of Mikoto-san's enthusiasm for all things wedding and grandchildren related wasn't something an already swamped Sakura was keen on provoking at the moment. Sasuke wasn't overly fond of the prospect of being pushed into marriage and fatherhood at eighteen, either. He knew Sakura was undoubtedly his end game, but the fact of the matter was that he had more critical goals to reach for the time being… like being promoted to jounin along with his village idiot best friend so they could catch up to their female teammate.

They agreed to go public with their relationship once Itachi and Izumi-nee's engagement was officially announced. Sasuke figured that once his Nii-san's wedding date was set and he was already in transition to formerly take over as clan head from their father, he could ask his older brother for help in dealing with the elders. And, both teens figured that the flurry of activity required to plan an Uchiha main house wedding and the prospect of grandchildren by her eldest son would be diverting enough to keep Mikoto-san's rabid attention away from them.

Speaking of which… where was his mother? She was usually in the kitchen this time of day to greet him when he returned home from his intensive jounin exam training. For the past two months, she busied herself daily preparing her youngest son's favorite foods so he'd be well nourished after the rigorous practicals and survival simulations he was subjecting himself to in preparation for the exam.

As if Itachi could read his mind (which wouldn't have been shocking given the extent of his genius older brother's ridiculous shinobi prowess), Sasuke heard a light rap on his bedroom door.

"Come to the kitchen to eat once you are settled, Sasuke. Okaa-san and Otou-san are dining with a few of the elders in the formal reception room this evening. Unless, of course, you would like to join them."

Sasuke's head shot up. Hell motherfucking NO THANK YOU to  _that_.

"No need." He blurted almost immediately. Itachi let out a low chuckle at his ornery otouto's lightening fast rejection of spending any time with those stuffy elders. Of course, he couldn't blame him. The thought alone was enough to give Itachi mild indigestion, so he couldn't imagine what the prospect did to Sasuke.

Before Itachi knew it, Sasuke whipped open his bedroom door with less grace than his older brother expected of him and padded down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Where is Izumi-nee and Shisui?" Sasuke inquired after swallowing his fourth onigiri. Ahhh, tomatoes and okaka… the best. Itachi looked on with unmasked affection at the sight of his little brother inhaling his favorite food. Watching Sasuke eat onigiri always reminded Itachi of how adorable he was when he was little; all cute with his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

"Izumi is having dinner with her genin team, and Shisui refuses to step anywhere near the house knowing that Kana-san is here this evening."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted in disdain. Of course Shisui would avoid their home like the plague tonight. Uchiha Kana was an old bat alright, and she also happened to be Shisui's insufferable great aunt. The windbag had a mouth big enough to rival Yamanaka Ino's (which was seriously saying something), although these days most of her rants were focused on nagging Shisui about his notoriously prolific womanizing. She and the rest of the elders had long since given up trying to get his older playboy cousin to marry and settle down, but they found that indiscriminately bedding loose civilians was an entirely different matter.

"And how has your exam preparations been coming along?" Itachi asked calmly as he gently pushed a plate of marinated tomatoes and more miso soup towards his little brother.

"Well. As long as the Dobe doesn't make me kill him during the exam, we'll be fine."

"That is -"

Itachi was abruptly cut off as the sound of clattering china sliced the air. Both brothers shot up from their seats with kunai in hand. A split second after his carefully honed shinobi senses were alerted, Sasuke realized that he didn't sense any unknown chakra signatures in the house. The ever so slight relaxing of his Nii-san's shoulders seemed to corroborate that, but Itachi's inquisitive brow still left a question hanging out in the open. What the hell was  _that_?

Suddenly, the brothers heard the sound of a few flustered elders awkwardly shifting their sandals on as they scrambled over themselves at the genkan, muttering excuses for their sudden departure. Sasuke caught a glimpse of his mother's beet red countenance and his father's stone frozen visage as their guests all but rushed out the door.

Being the considerate older brother he was, Itachi took up the task of cutting through the bizarre tension and spoke first.

"Otou-san, is everything alright?"

Sasuke noticed that his mother wouldn't look at either son in the eye as Fugaku cleared his throat to respond.

"Yes, everything is fine… It is nothing."

Mikoto seemed like she might say something, but only offered her boys a shaky barely-there curve of a nervous smile before faithfully padding after her husband to the master suite, presumably to retire with him for the evening.

Although his Nii-san's face appeared as impassive as ever, Sasuke knew better. The slightest downturn of Itachi's mouth proved that his older brother was as dissatisfied with their father's lame attempt to brush this under the rug as Sasuke.

So the question remained - what was so off-putting that the Uchiha elders practically fell over each other to leave the main house so abruptly?


	2. The Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obigatory Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. NARUTO AND ALL CHARACTERS RELATED TO THE NARUTO MANGA IS OWNED BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

 

That question was seemingly answered the following day after Sasuke's daily training session. He returned home drenched in sweat and caked in mud following an especially brutal jutsu simulation run with Naruto and Kakashi.

As he muttered his usual "Tadaima", Sasuke was surprised to find his Kaa-san in the kitchen plating what appeared to be food from  _take-out_  containers onto plates, presumably for dinner.

This in and of itself was beyond strange. The Uchiha matriarch was as well known for her culinary skills as she was for her beauty and brutal genjutsu and infiltration techniques, and few things brought her greater pride (other than her beloved sons, of course) than knowing how much her family and friends loved her cooking. She made a point to lovingly prepare home cooked meals for her immediate and extended family each and every day, and Sasuke could count the number of times he had eaten take-out at home while he was growing up on one hand.

Regardless, the younger Uchiha sensed that it was better not to comment on their dinner, given his mother's somewhat tense mannerisms (a vestige from that weird evening with the elders, no doubt).

"Ahhhhh, Sasu-chan! Okaeri! Look at this yakisoba and nikujaga that Itachi-kun brought home for us to try. I promise, it's not sweet at all! Just look at your clothing, you're filthy! Why don't you take a hot shower? Or a bath? Maybe both? Why don't you change and then come down for dinner… Ummm, okay?"

It took a lifetime of conditioning for Sasuke to keep his eye from twitching. Was his Kaa-san…  _rambling?_  She almost sounded like Sakura when she was particularly flustered or  _nervous_  about something. After quickly wiping her hands on the front of her apron, Mikoto scurried to the garden murmuring some excuse about having to feed the fish, and left her youngest son alone in the kitchen. Running his hands through his hair, Sasuke shook his head in confusion and headed upstairs to wash up and change.

As he walked down the hallway after his shower, he passed his brother's room on the way to his own. The door was slightly ajar, which was usually Itachi's way of inviting Sasuke in.

"Aniki, can I come in?"

"Ah."

Sasuke entered his brother's room and closed the door. Itachi was seated as he always did at his low desk – back ramrod straight in perfect posture, reading a scroll.

"…"

His brother looked up knowingly. "Yes, Sasuke. Okaa-san sent me a message at ANBU HQ this afternoon requesting that I pick up food on the way home. She explained that Otou-san would not be home for dinner this evening, as he has pressing work at the police station."

Itachi glanced briefly at his otouto, and to Sasuke's surprise swiftly completed a series of familiar hand signs to cast a silencing jutsu on his room.

"So… I take it you were out training all day?"

While Itachi's voice sounded casually even, Sasuke knew better. His eyes narrowed imperceptibly in response. "Ah. Training ground 12, running live simulations with the old man and the Dobe."

Itachi gently rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger. "I see. Then perhaps you may not have been privy to some of the more…  _curious_  comments that were circulating around the village this afternoon."

Sasuke's eyes visibly narrowed this time. "What are you talking about, Aniki? Spit it out."

It was then that both brothers looked heavenward and braced themselves for the onslaught that was their nosy older cousin.

"Heyyyyyy there, Baby Cousin 1 and littler Baby Cousin 2!" Shisui greeted them with an exaggerated two fingered salute as he materialized himself on Itachi's window sill. Damn that shunshin of his; Sasuke didn't even sense him coming before he had all but arrived.

" _Soooooo_ , chibi Grouch! Looks like you've been having – or at the very least,  _looking into_   _having_  - some real grown up _fun_ these days! Misplaced something lately? Hmmmm? Anything at all?"

Shisui shot Sasuke a suggestive wink, ignoring Itachi's stern looks clearly warning him to tone it down.

"What the fuck are you babbling about now, Shisui?" Sasuke scowled, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"Ah ah ah! Language, Sasu-chan, language! Wouldn't want Auntie to hear you now, would we? Who knows if her delicate sensibilities could take it, especially after the eyeful she got last night!" Shisui doubled over with barely restrained laughter as Itachi sighed with an air of resignation and faced his little brother.

He spoke over Shisui's snickering with a practiced calm. "Sasuke. Apparently, the elders abruptly ended their evening with our parents yesterday after discovering certain…questionable…  _literature_  in the formal reception room." Itachi looked at Sasuke knowingly, clearly trying to communicate  _something_ to his otouto with his eyes.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going anywhere because Sasuke looked as stumped as ever.

Until…

**OHHHHHHHHHHH** _ **FUCK**_.

Sasuke willed himself to regulate his breathing and tried to appear unaffected, but a thousand alarms were going off in his head.

Feeling a distinct heat rise in the back of his neck, the younger Uchiha attempted to respond as calmly and evenly as possible as he rose to leave. "I don't know what either of you are talking about. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to rest." Ignoring Shisui's howls of laughter, Sasuke swiftly padded over to his own room and collapsed face down on his bed.

_FUCK FUCK FUCKETY FUCKKKKKKKKK!_

Shaking his head to try and clear his mind, he finally gathered his wits enough to start searching for something small, rectangular, and…. _green._  After turning his usually immaculate room inside out and rummaging through all of his usual hiding places, he found himself slowly slumping down the edge of his bed as he confirmed what he already knew.

_**His copy of Icha Icha Make-Out Tactics was MISSING** _ _. How did he not notice until now?!_

After taking a few deep breaths, it dawned on him exactly how this mess had come about.

Right before Sakura had arrived for Itachi's eye appointment earlier that week, he had been home alone and took advantage of the rare moment of solitude to resume reading his copy of Icha Icha.

Here's the thing. Sasuke was by no means a pervert, dammit! Hell, he hadn't even bought the book himself (it had been a eighteenth birthday gift from his perverted ex-sensei), and while he scoffed and sputtered until he was purple in the face when he first opened the gift wrap in the privacy of his room, he couldn't deny that he found the book surprisingly…  _informative_  in recent months.

The truth of the matter was, that Sakura and Sasuke were each other's first and only sexual partners. And while Sasuke always figured that as a man (and as an  _Uchiha_ ), he would be the one to take the lead in having them figure out… whatever needed to be figured out to get this aspect of their relationship rolling, to his chagrin (and utter unspoken  _ **delight**_ ) – it turned out that Sakura was the far more sexually  _aware_  partner of the two. Sasuke wondered if it was because she was a medic (he had once overheard Shisui blithering enthusiastically about the advantages of bedding someone with advanced  _technical_ knowledge of the male anatomy during what he affectionately called his "Sexy Nurse Phase"). Whatever it was, this was for certain: Sakura wasn't just attractive to the extreme inside and out – she was  _adventurous_ , _demanding_ , and  _loved trying new things._

Given that he had every intention of keeping his feisty lover satisfied, he figured Icha Icha could be a useful source of information (because like hell was he going to approach his Nii-san about this, or even worse, that lecher Shisui). Sure, the book made him cringe more often than not (I mean  _come on…_ The plot, if you could even call it that, was tenuous at best and it was clear that its pathetic excuse of a story was just a vehicle for…  _other_ things. A princess and a samurai as star crossed lovers? It didn't get much cornier than that). But the only other possibility - going to his former sensei and his Dobe of a best friend about this topic - seemed equally unappealing, and carried with it the added stench of a conflict of interest.

But that didn't mean he had to be flagrant about it. The last thing he wanted was for Sakura to find out he was reading this. He really didn't want her to think he was some kind of sexual deviant, or  _worse_ – some lame-o that had to resort to reading cheesy erotica to figure out how to please her.

Which is why, just as he was turning the page on a particularly titillating (but admittedly  _confusing_ ) description of a position involving  _multiple_ (!) clones and a  _soup ladle_  of all things, he had been taken unawares and found himself flustered beyond belief when he sensed her chakra signature outside his front door. Sasuke shot up from the sofa where he was reading, frantically stuffed the risqué book in the back pocket of his shorts, pulled his shirt down to cover it all and nearly tripped over himself on the way to the door to let his girlfriend into the house.

Of course, as soon as he opened the door to Sakura's loving gaze and shy smile, the fluster and anxiety he'd been wracked with moments before seemed to melt away. After sharply scanning the area outside the house for any nosy neighbors, he gently took her hand and ushered her in, past the genkan and through the formal reception room towards the kitchen, when her attention was suddenly drawn to a new painting his Kaa-san had recently acquired and hung on the far wall.

As Sakura scrutinized the new painting in the grandeur of the reception room, her delectable lips parted ever so slightly in concentration while her bright green, greenest  _greeeeen_  eyes shone softly with unabashed curiosity and admiration. And when she reflexively tucked a soft tendril of pale pink hair that escaped her voluminous side braid behind her small ear, he was hit with the memory of the last time she actually sat in that very room.

It had been during Matsuri the year prior, and his mother had insisted that Sakura and the Dobe meet him at their house so she could take pictures of all three of them in their festival kimonos. Shockingly, the Dobe had arrived in a kimono that wasn't a total bright orange infectious eye sore. (Undoubtedly Hinata's influence, of course). And Sakura… his ethereal Sakura. She had shown up looking lovelier than he'd ever seen her before.

It wasn't the first time he had seen Sakura in a yukata or kimono, but the vision she made that night was seared into his memory. The pale silver kimono she wore illuminated her glossy pink hair and emerald orbs to new heights, and the light silk draped over her petite and willowy frame like a gentle waterfall. Her cherry red obi perfectly accentuated her slender waist, and the elegant updo of her signature pink mane ensured that her creamy long neck was exposed for his perusal. Naruto had taken one look at their female teammate and groaned inwardly. Of course, Sakura-chan looked awesome – which meant he and the Teme would have to be particularly vigilant about beating back the endless male admirers that would no doubt try and make a move on her when they were out and about that night. The men of Team 7 always executed their bodyguard duties with a fierce fervor, and the exuberant blonde was no exception. Fending off Sakura-chan's fanboys was hard enough on regular days, but that job was always made more difficult whenever his sister from another mister decided to get dolled up in any way. Naruto was too busy muttering to himself about what a headache it was going to be to maintain an impenetrable chastity wall around the far too popular pinkette, while keeping his beloved Hinata entertained to notice Sasuke's near blatant ogling.

In truth, Sasuke and Sakura had been flirting discreetly with one another for months prior to that day. But Sasuke finally managed to make the extent of his feelings known that night at the festival… and ten days later on his seventeenth birthday, he received the most special and alluring gift he could have ever hoped for after spending an admittedly somewhat awkward, but no less passionate, life-altering-mind-blowing first night together with the kunoichi of his dreams.

So, seeing her earlier that week at his home gazing at his mother's painting in the formal reception room, he couldn't help but be reminded of what Sakura looked like the night of that Matsuri festival a year ago… and that inevitably got him thinking about their first time together. Coupled with the fact that: (1) he hadn't really seen her at all for the better part of two months; and (2) he happened to be reading a particularly  _stimulating_  chapter of Icha Icha when she arrived…. All led to his frenzied and heated quickie with Sakura that afternoon against the wall of the formal reception room.

Of course he had forgotten about the book the minute he felt her plush lips on his own. If the past year was any indication, that was usually how things went when it came to Sakura. A lingering touch on the small of her lower back, the smooth feel and weight of her plump breast in his palm, and the soft grip of her small hands in his hair and over his manhood was usually all it took to relieve Sasuke of his mental faculties all together. Who knew what happened to that Kami-forsaken book? It probably fell out of his shorts pocket and got inadvertently kicked into a corner during their passionate tumble… not that either party would have noticed over their fervent groping, grunts and loud pants. Besides, who in their right mind would have cared about something as trivial as some  _book_ when they had such a beautiful, curvy, sweetly keening kunoichi in their arms?

Sasuke took his pillow out from under his face and covered his head with it.  _A man that was less of a horny idiot, that's who_ , he thought bitterly to himself.

He sighed deeply. The elders had seen it… his copy of Icha Icha.

In the formal reception room of the Uchiha main house…

_WHERE THEY HAD JUST HAD DINNER…_ _**WITH HIS PARENTS** _ _._

Ughhh. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. He had a jounin exam to pass that started in two days, for fuck's sake!

And his Kaa-san… His poor, beloved Kaa-san. No wonder she looked like she was about to keel over and die from embarrassment last night. For the Uchiha matriarch to be humiliated like that in her own home… and in front of important guests, no less. Knowing that big mouth Kana-san, the scandalous details of whatever the elders got a peek of was probably known all throughout Fire Country by now… and two countries over.

This gave Sasuke another horrifying need for pause.  _Kami, what exactly did they see?!_

As Sasuke well knew, there probably wasn't a single page in that book that wouldn't shock the conscience of the clan elders. After all, they were unbearably crotchety and a deeply conservative bunch. He'd heard them hound his Nii-san and Shisui (Tch) on countless occasions before, screeching ' _abstinence before marriage!_ ' and  _'no kissing without a chaperone!'_  and other similar nonsense, and he could only imagine what they thought about the contents of whatever they saw. Quickly, Sasuke racked his brain to try and remember which pages he had earmarked (so there were a  _few_ , okay?! He was a healthy eighteen year old MAN involved in what he considered a responsible,  **committed**  relationship. LET HIM LIVE).

And  _Otou-san_ …  _Gahhhhhhhhhh!_  It was bad enough his father was always comparing him to Itachi and found him lacking. Now, he probably viewed his second son as some pathetic hormonal horn dog without discipline.

Sasuke couldn't decide which was worse: the fact that the elders had somehow caught a glimpse into what he  _hoped*wished*dreamedwould be/could beprettyplease_  his future sex life, or the knowledge that his parents (Kami, his poor Kaa-san!) knew someone was reading this sort of filth in her venerable home.

But this last train of thought suddenly had Sasuke perking up.

On second thought, maybe this wasn't as damning as it looked. After all, it's not like the racy literature was discovered in his room, or had his name written anywhere in or on the book. This wasn't some Academy school text where he was required to write the obligatory  _'If found, please return to Uchiha Sasuke at blah blah blah'_. Just because they came across the book in the formal reception room, didn't mean anyone would know it was  _his._

He'd just pin it on Shisui. Yes, that's it… that was as sound a plan as any. Would that be considered dastardly? Sure. But Shisui deserved it, for his years of incessant teasing and generally obnoxious behavior. Plus, it would also serve as payback for all the times he blatantly ogled and flirted with Sakura.

But no sooner had Sasuke cooked up the idea, that inklings of doubt crept in. Was that really a believable alternative? After all, Shisui was, if nothing else, utterly shameless. This was someone who drunkenly, yet proudly proclaimed at the village's most popular watering hole that  _ **"Jiraya-sama is the undisputed OG!"**_ and used up all of his vacation days last year just to travel to and from Tea Country in order to attend the premiere of the "Icha Icha Violence-  _ **UNCENSORED CUT**_ " movie (and blew off two critical clan meetings while he was at it).

The more he thought about it, the more Sasuke concluded that a well-known lothario like Shisui wouldn't give two shits about anyone (much less the elders) knowing about his lewd escapades or his preferences for erotic literature. In short, if the book belonged to Shisui – he wouldn't go through the trouble to hide the fact… and everyone would know it.

DAMMIT. So that wouldn't work.

Sasuke cringed thinking about his next option, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Perhaps he could… maybe, sort of…  _possibly_  ask his Nii-san to…

**NO.** NO NO NO. Sasuke shook his head vigorously. That was even dumber than his first idea. As much as it pained him to admit it, his Nii-san was faaaaar too smooth and meticulous to make such a sloppy and stupid slip up like this. This was  _Itachi_  – the much lauded prodigy and heir of the Uchiha, one of the most lethal shinobi in their village and probably the country at large, perfect in every way… Hell, Sasuke had never even so much as seen a strand of his Nii-san's immaculately groomed hair out of place. As the youngest ANBU Vice-Commander the village had ever appointed, his brother followed rules with militaristic precision, so it wouldn't even surprise Sasuke if he and Izumi-nee were waiting until marriage to do the deed (which he thought was batshit crazy, knowing everything he knew now).

No, there was no way his parents (or anyone, for that matter) would believe that  _Itachi_  was so indiscreet as to leave such a thing like that out in the open in the formal reception area of their home, of all places.

Sasuke felt the beginnings of a wicked headache forming behind his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Think rationally, THINK you miserable bastard…  _T.H.I.N.K!_

Right. First things first. Neither of his parents had brought this up…  _yet_. Otou-san seemed especially busy at the station this week… which was to be expected, given the security arrangements that needed to be coordinated and finalized with Hokage Tower for the jounin exams that weekend. Kaa-san seemed like she might be too mortified to bring it up on her own, so maybe those two things combined would buy him enough time to try and think of a way to salvage the situation.

Okay. Next, Jounin exams… RIGHT. He couldn't afford to get sidetracked by this unfortunate shit storm with only two days left to go. Now, more than ever, he had to FOCUS and make sure he and the Dobe passed and made jounin without question.

And finally, there was Sakura… Oh Kami shit fucking shit – what would she think if she ever caught wind of this?! What would the DOBE say?!

_Wait, calm down. One thing at a time._ He'd cross that bridge when he got to it.

He sighed for the thousandth time, closed his eyes in frustrated resignation, the take-out food downstairs long forgotten.

What the actual fuck…


	3. Angel of Mercy and Colorful Rumors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. NARUTO AND ALL CHARACTERS RELATED TO THE NARUTO MANGA IS OWNED BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

 

 

More often than not, one word came to the forefront of people's minds whenever anyone mentioned the village's youngest ever ANBU Vice-Commander:

_**Deadly.** _

And that wasn't inaccurate, per se. Because Uchiha Itachi was, in fact, a profoundly dangerous man.

But what most of the public who only knew of his larger-than-life exploits and storied career from afar  _didn't_  know was, that this formidable shinobi was also a pacifist who absolutely abhorred violence.

He was also exceedingly gracious, unfailingly polite, fiercely protective of his comrades and subordinates, and despite his intimidating rank – genuinely considered himself just one of many faithful stewards of the Will of Fire; a servant of his clan but more importantly… of his village.

Those in his inner circle also knew that he was a family man through and through: a dutiful son, a deeply loving older brother, and a devoted partner to his betrothed. While Itachi recognized that his high profile status as the Uchiha heir and elevated rank in the upper echelons of the village's shinobi hierarchy necessitated the maintenance of a certain…  _persona_ , if you will – at heart, he was just a young man of 23 who loved his family, his village and one Uchiha Izumi with all of his heart. And despite Shisui's constant use of metaphors likening the institution of marriage to torture and imprisonment, Itachi was actually looking forward to wedding his beautiful life-long friend in the upcoming year.

Because that's who Izumi was – one of his most faithful, loyal and oldest friends. One whose strength and character he could count upon to put him in his place when he was being unreasonable or foolish, listen and take his hand when the crushing duties and expectations of his station seemed overwhelming, tease a smile onto his stoic face and enthusiastically share in his indulgence of sweet treats. She was, without a doubt in his mind, the only one for him.

Which is why, at that very moment, he was pleased to have been able to steal away a brief half hour break from his responsibilities at ANBU HQ to join his beloved for a bite of dango at their favorite tea house.

Itachi, Izumi and Shisui had been regulars at this establishment since they were children, despite the fact that the tea house was not located within the Uchiha compound. A little Shisui had once sagely quipped – "Hey! Good dango is good dango, who cares if one of our aunties or uncles didn't make it?"

His two younger Uchiha cousins were a bit dumbfounded by this somewhat radical idea, but it made perfect sense, so logic dictated that they agree… and they did. Shisui was right, plain and simple. And from that day on, this was their teahouse of choice for their #1 go-to dessert.

"Where is Shi-kun? He's not coming?" Izumi faintly brushed her sandal against her fiancé's ankle, knowing his discomfort at engaging in overt public displays of affection.

Itachi felt his stony visage chip away at the sight of his beloved as a soft smile slowly graced his handsome aristocratic features. "Shisui had a mission briefing, I believe. Hopefully, you won't mind having to endure my exclusive company today." Itachi gently teased as he casually curled a large, calloused hand over Izumi's delicate fingers. He enjoyed watching her eyes widen ever so slightly, her smile getting brighter as she broke into a full on grin.

"Itachi-kun, don't be ridiculous! I love Shi-kun, but if he keeps talking as if taking a wife is the equivalent of serving a lifelong prison sentence without hope for parole, I can't guarantee that I won't drop kick him from here to Suna."

Itachi chuckled at Izumi's feisty response but quickly remembered what he'd been meaning to ask since the moment he sat down. "How is Hazuki-san feeling this week? I regret not having had the time to inquire after her personally with a visit…"

The couple was momentarily interrupted by a young waitress who had come to take their order. "Will it just be the regular for you Fukucho-sama?" It didn't escape anyone's notice that the girl's voice was pitched inordinately high due to her nervousness, but that didn't seem to stop her from batting her lashes at a mile-a-minute with hearts in her eyes.

"Yes, thank you." Itachi responded, polite but impassive, as always. The girl's face fell as she skittered away to fulfill the order.

"Kaa-chan is just fine,  _Fukucho-sama_." Izumi made a point to exaggerate that last part, rolling her eyes for good measure. "You know, when we're married there is no way I'm calling you  _'_ _Goshujin-sama'_  or whatever archaic title the elders insist upon. You'll only ever be my 'Itachi-kun' to me… Or maybe  _Anata_ , on days when you are being especially sweet." She stuck her tongue out in playful defiance, scrunching her nose in that adorable way that he loved.

Itachi's shoulders shook subtly in amusement. "Okaa-san does not address Otou-san by anything cumbersome like that. I will not care what you call me, as long as you agree to be mine." That quiet but loving declaration was enough to illicit a deep rosy blush on Izumi's fair cheeks, and the way she suddenly smashed her lips together and averted her eyes meant she was trying hard to suppress another smile.

Flustered, she immediately redirected the conversation in order to hide her embarrassment as their dango and tea was served. "Seriously though, Kaa-chan really is feeling so much better. Turns out Sakura-chan made a house call a few days ago after checking out your eyes, and gave Kaa-chan an in-depth treatment that completely alleviated her hip pain. After some poking around at the hospital, I found out that she went through the trouble of rescheduling a surgery that day to squeeze in Kaa-chan, knowing that she'd be at the main house later that afternoon for you."

Itachi chewed his dango thoughtfully, as he considered the pink haired kunoichi in question. Izumi continued, "Kaa-chan says she's an angel of mercy, so gentle and thorough… She said her chakra feels like nothing else she's ever felt before. Warm, cool, and soothing all at once. She's incredible, I don't know how she does it."

At this, Itachi did respond. "Well, the Godaime has remarked that Sakura-san's chakra control surpasses what her own was at the same age. As for the feeling… Perhaps it is just in her nature. Sasuke has always complained that her heart is too big for her own good. Perhaps the feeling of her chakra simply reflects the genuine care and concern she has for her patients. She has been selfless that way since she was a genin… always doting on Sasuke, Naruto-kun and even Kakashi-san."

Izumi smiled broadly at this fanciful, but charming hypothesis. It may not have sounded very scientific, but Izumi was on board with it. Besides, Sakura-chan was as close to an angel as she'd ever met (notwithstanding her violent temper and monstrous physical strength), and the fact of the matter was, that her healing chakra really did feel amazing. There was a reason why the Uchiha main house and those of the other noble clans demanded her first when they sought a Medic-on-Call. Izumi remembered well what it felt like after Sakura-chan had expertly healed three cracked ribs for her following a lively spar. She had various bones healed before, but there was an inexplicably soothing refinement to Sakura's technique that was well known and sought after by numerous past and prospective patients, within the village and beyond.

"Well, at any rate, I feel badly. She re-arranged her busy schedule to squeeze in an in-depth session for Kaa-chan, only to go back to the hospital for a surgery that very same day. She didn't say anything about it so I didn't even get a chance to properly thank her on my own… and what if her visit to our house left her exhausted for her more serious procedure?"

Itachi noticed that his fiancé had stopped eating as a look of genuine worry took over her face. Usually, he'd find her concerns wholly justified, as it was news to no one that Dr. Haruno never thought twice about exhausting her chakra to heal a patient in need, whoever they may be. He had witnessed his otouto yell at her for exceeding her limits more times than he could count – ' _for FUCK'S SAKE would it kill you to prioritize your OWN health first for once!'_ or, _'Kami why can't you get it through your thick skull that you're allowed to say NO!'_ – while the less articulate Naruto-kun would bellow incoherently beside her, gesticulating his extreme displeasure at her condition.

Of course, it also did not escape Itachi's notice that despite all that screaming and hollering, Sasuke always insisted on carrying her home himself –  _'hands off, Dobe!'_ – and never failed to personally deliver their mother's home made bentos to her apartment, schedule permitting, to ensure that she was eating properly during her recovery.

Itachi recalled an awkward conversation he once had not long after his otouto and Naruto-kun returned to the village following their three year training trips with Kakashi-san and Jiraiya-sama, respectively. When he quirked a brow at Sasuke wrapping an elaborate bento box using one of their mother's uchiwa embroidered furoshiki, his otouto sighed and explained:

' _Sakura's parents passed away in a freak construction accident last year, before the Dobe and I returned home. She lives in that apartment alone, and all that useless Yamanaka ever brings over is ice cream and anmitsu. Sakura is annoying. She will never put herself first, ever. So it's up to me… I, I - I mean,_ _ **us**_ _! US, to take care of her.'_

Sputtering at the tail end of that sentence, Sasuke had clutched the knot on the furshiki so tightly his knuckles turned white. With his ears blazing red, he scurried out the door with his bento for Sakura in hand.

Itachi remembered that exchange fondly. Although it was clear that his otouto and their blond teammate harbored guilt for not being there for Sakura when her parents passed away, that was significantly overshadowed by Sasuke's painfully obvious feelings for their cherry blossom medic. Not that his crush wasn't evident when they were growing up and on the same genin team. Unbeknownst to Sasuke, the befuddled mess of feelings everyone knew he held for the pinkette was a popular source of entertainment for the older Uchiha's in the family – when little grouch Sasu-chan was out of earshot, of course.

But when Itachi saw his flustered younger brother run out the door to deliver that bento wrapped with care, that was when he realized that Sasuke's childhood crush had developed into something more serious… something  _substantial_.

Really, his little brother may have gotten his looks from their mother, but emotionally he was so like their father the similarities were downright uncanny. Sasuke cared deeply for Sakura-san, and that attachment showed despite himself through every gruff word and brusque gesture.

Back to the point though. While Itachi agreed that worrying over Sakura-san's zealous work ethic was usually warranted, in this case he felt it necessary to assuage Izumi's concerns. He handed his fiancé another stick of dango and immediately reassured her. "From what I understand, Sakura-san's skills are far enough advanced that anything addressed at a house call wouldn't have had much of an impact, if any, on her chakra reserves. Perfect chakra control, remember?"

Izumi's shoulders relaxed at Itachi's reassuring words. "Well, if you say so…" and her smiled brightened. "You know, I simply adore her. She's smart, amazingly skilled, and stunningly beautiful with a heart of gold." She pointed her empty dango stick towards her companion. "And let me tell you, Itachi-kun. I noticed not one, but TWO bouquets from Yamanaka Flowers being delivered to her at the hospital just in the short time I was standing by the reception desk. A kunoichi like  _that_  isn't going to stay unattached for long, so Sasu-chan better get his butt on a roll." Izumi huffed, taking another long sip of tea. Itachi tried his best to hold in a snort at her spirited tirade.

"You are starting to sound like Okaa-san… But as usual, I cannot disagree with you."

After finishing up their sweet treats, the handsome couple realized they had a good ten minutes to spare before Itachi's break was over, so they decided to walk through the market place towards ANBU HQ together.

Given both ninjas' superior hearing and advanced senses, Itachi and Izumi found themselves at a loss for words as their ears suddenly picked up the strangest gossip from all over the market place.

" _The sexual depravity…"_

" _Who would have thought… that kind of smut in the_ _ **main house**_ _!"_

" _Orgies and… cooking utensils!"_

" _Do any of the books… using the Sharingan for…?"_

" _Graphic diagrams… earmarked, she said!"_

" _Everyone knows most of those positions aren't realistic but they are a clan full of prodigies, after all…"_

" _Doesn't the garden in the main house have a koi pond and a_ _ **swing**_ _? I remember it was featured in Konoha Digest a few years back… Do you think they've ever – "_

" _BOTH….? At… the_ _ **same time**_ _?!"_

Before they knew it, the utterly confused couple found themselves at the entrance of the imposing ANBU HQ building. Izumi's puzzled face was completely drained of color as she looked at some spot in the distance while she tried to mentally piece together all of the snippets of gossip she'd just heard.

Itachi's face looked as impassive as ever, but Izumi knew better. The shockingly salacious nature of the gossip hadn't escaped his notice, and it was the last thing he'd expected to hear on his way back to work.

But, ever the level headed professional and clan-head-to-be, Itachi quickly gathered his wits and directed his fiancé's gaze back towards him. He gently suggested, "Why don't you head home now and check in on your mother. I will get to the bottom of these…  _colorful_  rumors, and will catch up with you later."

Izumi just nodded dumbly and in her dazed state, gave Itachi a reflexive peck on the cheek. The instinctive and involuntary nature of her gesture pleased him too much for him to feel embarrassed, and with that he headed into the lobby and up the stairs to his office on the fifth floor when he found himself face to face with none other than his older cousin, Shunshin-no-Shisui.

"Um… heyyyyy Fukucho-sama," Shisui grinned sheepishly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Just the man I was hoping to see… You got a minute?"


	4. Hardcore Edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory Disclaimer: NARUTO AND ALL CHARACTERS RELATED TO THE NARUTO MANGA IS OWNED BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> P.S. We are halfway through the story with this chapter :D

 

 

Itachi silently nodded, as both shinobi headed into his spacious office and closed the door. Shisui expertly cast a silencing jutsu on the room, garnering Itachi's full attention.

Shisui knew his best friend well enough not to wait for small talk. He got straight to the point.

"Sooooo, apparently some old biddies heard from Idaina-obaa that there's some awesome freaky shit going on at your house."

Itachi's face would have seemed eerily still to a civilian, but as a formidable Sharingan wielding ANBU agent, Shisui picked up on that slight but unmistakable quirk of Itachi's brow, silently directing him to elaborate.

"One of the elders… I think it was old geezer Yashiro? The one with the big ears? Anyways, he was uncharacteristically fidgety during dinner at your place last night, and when auntie offered to switch his zabuton out for him, they realized he was uncomfortable because he was sitting on top of an open copy of  _Icha Icha Tactics_ … the  _ **hardcore**_ _ **edition**_ … and his knee was digging into the book's spine. Apparently, the elders didn't know what it was and took a minute or five… or ten to check it out!"

Despite the gravity of the office where he stood, Shisui couldn't help the snort that escaped him and the subsequent giggles that followed. "You think they flipped through it with their Sharingan activated?!"

Itachi breathed deeply and closed his eyes for a beat. When he finally opened them, he gave Shisui an austere questioning look.

"Nope, not mine. It wasn't worth spending double for that watered down volume, when everyone knew  _Icha Icha Violence_  was going to be way more  _hard_  –" he was swiftly cut off by the zing of a kunai flying precariously close to his face.

But something trivial like a deadly weapon wasn't enough to divert the great Shunshin no Shisui from what he considered to be an outrageously entertaining development. "Oh shit….! It's gotta be chibi grouch Sasu-chan's!"

For a split nanosecond, Itachi almost looked like he might be considering something else, but the moment passed as quickly as it came. The Uchiha heir swiftly pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Shisui, this isn't funny."

"Isn't it though?"

"Shisui, this nonsense is apparently all over the village. At this rate, I would not be surprised if Okaa-san is too embarrassed to even leave the compound, much less the house."

"Oh come on, Itachi. It's not the end of the world. Who cares what some old biddies think? The gossip mill will forget this soon enough. It'll be old news by next week and those vultures will just be out for new fodder, like they always do."

Shisui flippantly waived off his cousin's concerns with practiced ease. And as irritated as Itachi was about the situation - once again, he found merit and a practical sensibility to Shisui's reasoning.

"I mean, he'll never stop being chibi grouch to me… but the fact is that he's a strapping eighteen year old. Plus - you, me, and all of Hokage Tower knows that this exam is just a formality for him. Our little guy and his idiot BFF are more than qualified to be jounin. Those knuckleheads are far and away the most advanced candidates to take part in the exam in  _years_."

Itachi rested his chin on his interlaced hands, indicating his unspoken agreement. Sasuke and Naruto-kun were undoubtedly the most powerful chunnin in the village, and they were more than qualified for the promotion.

"If that kid's gonna be expected to draw lightening from the sky to electrocute our enemies in combat, he's allowed to have a little fun, don't you think? And even if people keep talking about it, who the fuck cares? It's nobody's business what anyone reads or does behind or in front of closed doors as long as they're not hurting anyone or breaking any laws. People need to get a life…. And hopefully, at the very least this will mean your idiot kid brother will actually get a clue about what to do with poor Sakura-chan once he finally grows the balls to stake his claim… if he hasn't already, that is!"

Shisui's cackling was Itachi's cue to kick his degenerate cousin out of his office. Itachi took a deep breath and not for the first time, begrudgingly found himself thankful for Shisui's practical non-nonsense input. His older cousin was right. At the end of the day, something like this was perfectly natural and he didn't want his otouto to be embarrassed or feel judged for it. Of course, Itachi knew getting through to Sasuke would be difficult given the loose lips of their stupidly rigid and outdated clan elders, and his otouto's penchant for letting this type of drivel affect him negatively…

Towards the end of his day, the Uchiha heir found that his mother had left him a message asking him to pick up take out for dinner on his way home.  _Ohhh, Okaa-san…_ Itachi deduced that she did not have provisions to cook but was too embarrassed to face the village gossip at the market. So being the dutiful and obedient son that he was, he made sure to call his mother back and let her know that he would do as he was asked.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that evening, as he endured a still snickering Shisui at his window sill, he thought long and hard about how to get through to Sasuke.

"Well, that could've gone better. I can practically hear him hyperventilating two doors down!"

Itachi shot a glare at his best friend. Really, didn't Shisui know that poking his little brother like that only made him shut down harder? That usually the only person capable of getting through to him when his guard was fully up like that was a certain pink haired medic… who was quite possibly the most inappropriate person to seek out at the moment?

"Whatever, 'Tachi. This'll do him good. It'll teach him not to let this kind of pointless tittle tattle get to him so much."

Shisui finally let out one last, long sigh with a broad self-satisfied grin before heading out. "I'm meeting Genma at the Yumei Lounge at around eleven if you wanna drink this off. But I can't guarantee I'll be available much if Kaede-chan or her roommate are working the bar tonight."

Itachi shot his cousin a dry look. "Isn't Kaede the one who tried to burn your clothes and strangle you from her third story window?"

"Um… sure. Water under the bridge though, all's forgiven!"

"And wasn't that because of your indiscretion with her…  _roommate_?"

"Was it? Not really sure. Anyway, ja ne!"

And with that, Shisui teleported out just as quickly as he appeared.

Itachi exhaled a deep breath, placing a thumb and index finger over his eyelids. His eyes were feeling dry again, and he found himself reaching for the prescription eye drops Sakura-san had tailored just for him. He realized at that moment that he had never asked her for any. It was just something she probably gathered he'd need from his latest eye exam, and it didn't escape his notice that of course Sakura discreetly delivered the eye drops to his home so he didn't have to be seen picking up a prescription at the pharmacy and face inane questions about his vision from others. Sakura-san was always so considerate, and she never failed to be attuned to those she cared about. Itachi couldn't help but chuckle.

As foolish as his otouto could be, he had certainly done an exemplary job in choosing a mate for himself. Itachi only hoped that after being given some space, Sasuke would relax enough to let this Icha Icha debacle slide and not get in the way of his upcoming exam or his growing feelings for his precious female teammate.


	5. Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory Disclaimer: NARUTO AND ALL CHARACTERS RELATED TO THE NARUTO MANGA IS OWNED BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

 

Two days passed in the blink of an eye. Sasuke almost didn't have time to dwell on the Icha Icha shit storm looming over his head…  _almost._  Thankfully, his impending jounin exam and the endless combat simulations, potential genjutsu traps, and infiltration plans he'd gone over in ad nauseam with Kakashi and the Dobe were enough to drown out any lingering personal woes he'd harbored for the past few days.

Although he hadn't seen or heard from Sakura since his "mandatory physical" earlier that week, she did send him a note via slug summon at dawn on the first day of the exams:

" _Dear Sasuke-kun,_

_I'm trying my best not to be a distraction, but I miss you so much and I figured a short note wishing you luck wouldn't hurt… right? Not that you or Naruto need any luck. I know you'll be just fine, Shannaro! I just hope you and Naruto will take care of each other and won't do anything crazy or excessive to try and one up each other. I will NOT be happy if I see either of you with unnecessary critical injuries!_

Sasuke couldn't help but smirk at that. Sakura could huff and puff all she wanted, but he and the Dobe knew she'd always heal them. Hehe.

_Anyways, I know you'll be totally off limits for the next three days… so I wanted you to know that I will be thinking of you. Whenever you are exhausted, whenever you are hungry, when you don't think you have the strength to move a single muscle or you don't think you can dodge another attack, I want you to remember that I am yours and I am here. No matter what the outcome, okay? Also, I have a surprise waiting for you in three days! (I'm also planning on treating Naruto to Ichiraku… but don't tell him that yet)._

_I believe in you with all my heart because I know the vast extent of your incredible strength – both physically and mentally. You, Sasuke-kun, are all I need and more._

_Take care of yourself like you take care of me over the next three days, understand? I will be there at the gates waiting… always._

_Love, Sakura"_

Sasuke folded the neatly written note carefully and put the sweetly scented paper in his back pocket. Like magic, Sakura always managed to dispel any doubt, anxiety or fear that he was feeling with her words or presence. She saw him for  _him_. She believed in  _him._  Ever since they were children, she was the one person other than his Nii-san who acknowledged him and recognized him for who he was. Not as an Uchiha, not as Itachi's younger brother, not as Fugaku's second son… but as  _ **Sasuke-kun.**_

He wondered what the surprise was that she alluded to in her letter… And also vaguely realized that this was the first time she signed off on anything she ever wrote to him with  _Love._  But in truth, he didn't need her to get him anything. And he didn't need her to write out or say how she felt to know that she loved him with all that she was… because faithfully, she always had. In reality, he had always known Sakura's love and devotion. She had always been there for him and the Dobe, even when they hadn't always been there for her…

Sasuke's quiet contemplation of his girlfriend's tender message was rudely interrupted by an obnoxious and painfully familiar screech outside his bedroom window.

"OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! TEMEEEEEEEEE!"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and reluctantly got out of bed to rip the window open.

"Shut the fuck up, Dobe! My family's still sleeping dammit!" He hissed, looking down to a far too chipper looking Naruto standing outside his house.

"You're wrong! I just saw your Tou-san on the way here; he's already heading towards the station to brief his officers for the exam. We both know Itachi-nii barely sleeps anyway and Mikoto-baa invited me over for breakfast so open the damn door already!"

Sasuke scoffed and slammed his window shut. Out of spite, he ignored Naruto entirely and went to the bathroom to wash up first. As he was heading down the stairs into the kitchen, he heard the Dobe complaining to his Kaa-san and Nii-san about him.

"And then I was waiting out in the cold, but stupid Sasu - Ahhhhh! Finally, Teme! What took you so long?! You take longer than a girl to get ready!"

"Hn." Sasuke just rolled his eyes and took a seat next to his brother rather than his unwanted house guest. While he would have liked nothing better than to thump Naruto's thick skull first thing in the morning, he knew his mother wouldn't be too happy about it and he thought it best to try and stay in her good graces until he had this Icha Icha mess sorted out.

His Kaa-san still didn't seem 100% like her usual self, but she appeared less bothered about whatever was on her mind than she was, say, two days ago. Although, Sasuke did notice that the morning after he heard about the scandal, Izumi-nee had brought over what seemed like a small wagon load of groceries… presumably so his mother wouldn't have to leave the house for a while for provisions if she didn't want to.

"Hey where's Sakura-chan?" Naruto's head whipped side to side and strained his neck past the kitchen door to try and find a telltale sign of pink. Then, leaning into Sasuke with his voice low, he asked "She's not holed up in your  _ROOM_  is she?!" Naruto cackled with delight as Sasuke prayed to Kami that no one else heard his idiot musing.

As soon as he saw his mother turn from the stove with a puzzled expression, Sasuke reigned in his killing intent and answered tersely, "She worked the night shift yesterday so she better be home sleeping by now. Seriously, Dobe, how can you claim to be a concerned teammate when you still haven't figured out her work schedule?" Sasuke leveled a reproachful glare at his best friend, and it wasn't entirely undeserved. Naruto genuinely didn't have a clue what Sakura's insane work schedule was like.

The crushing guilt evidenced on the blond's usually sunny face was quickly displaced by wonder as Mikoto set a large plate of crisp gyoza on the table, along with a bowl of agedashi tofu - the only vegetarian dish Naruto willingly consumed.

Sasuke looked over at his teammate in disgust as he saw him practically shoveling food into his mouth. He made a mental note to himself to make sure Naruto didn't do something stupid like order 40 bowls of ramen when Sakura treated him to Ichiraku. He knew his girlfriend made good money, but Naruto ate like an industrial strength garbage disposal and his appetite, especially for ramen, could put anyone in the poor house.

When his mother left the kitchen to fetch more tea leaves from their pantry, he turned around and spat out "Why are you here, Dobe? Why aren't you at the Hyuuga's or something?"

Naruto gave him the stink eye. "You're a real shit stain, you know that? And deaf, too. Didn't I tell you already? Mikoto-baa  _ **invited me**_! She wanted to make sure I got my fill of her famous shrimp gyoza before the exam!"

Naruto's glare shifted dizzyingly fast into his trademark megawatt grin, as he animatedly waived around the gyoza in question. "I love Hinata-chyaaaan, but Mikoto-baa's cooking is the BEST!" He turned around to Itachi with unmuted enthusiasm "Ne ne Itachi-nii, do ya think Mikoto-baa can make some for Sakura-chan later? She loves this gyoza, too dattebayo!"

Sasuke saw his brother's lips curl into the faintest smile at this jubilant declaration, and with a subtle nod in response he considerately shifted more gyoza and tamagoyaki in front of their eager guest. Naruto only paused his feasting for a moment to rudely point his chopsticks at Sasuke - "You don't get it because you get to eat her cooking every day, you hairy asshole!"

Sasuke paused for a moment as he let his best friend's words sink in. That's right… Naruto didn't grow up having the benefit of being surrounded by his mother's love every day, or eating home cooked meals prepared for him with care. It was true that the Dobe was always welcome at the main house while they were growing up, and practically lived there during their late Academy and genin years. But the fact remained, that he didn't have what Sasuke had – which was the constant love and attention of his Kaa-san.

This reminder caused a small knot to form in Sasuke's chest. Approvingly, Itachi noticed his otouto discreetly slide the remaining two gyoza over to Naruto's plate. The Dobe's words also got him thinking about his Icha Icha problem from a new angle. His Kaa-san didn't deserve to be embarrassed or feel ashamed because of  _his_ slip up. She had always been there for him, his Nii-san and Otou-san, as well as countless members of their clan who relied on their matriarch for her steady guidance. She deserved a genuine apology from him, as well as his honesty... not the shitty end of some half baked scheme to try and deflect his responsibility onto someone else. He was hoping to be promoted to jounin, for fuck's sake. What did it say about his character if he couldn't bring himself to come clean to his own mother, admit to this sloppy blunder and just move on like a man? His Kaa-san deserved a better son than that, and Sakura deserved a better boyfriend than that.

With a steely new resolve in his now bright eyes, Sasuke suddenly found his appetite and began eating heartily (albeit with infinitely better manners and finesse than the Dobe), and caught a second wind he hadn't felt in days. He honed his razor sharp focus on two immediate goals: (1) pass the jounin exam with flying colors along with Naruto, and earn this promotion to make his family and friends proud; and (2) Afterwards, apologize to his parents for the embarrassment he caused them in front of the elders and vow to exercise greater discretion in the future.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Itachi wasn't sure what came over his otouto over the course of breakfast, but whatever it was – he seemed to have finally shaken off the morose weight that had hung around his neck for the past few days, and a renewed spark of determination seemed to have returned full force to his eyes.

_Good_ , he thought. Naruto-kun, like Shisui, always did have a knack of putting things in perspective. And as with Sakura, Itachi found himself feeling a swell of gratitude for this sunny, loyal and optimistic friend that had always been by his grumpy little brother's side.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once breakfast was finished, Naruto and Sasuke helped clear the table and piled everything in an orderly fashion into the sink just as Sakura had diligently trained (beaten) them into doing over their decade of friendship.

After Sasuke strapped on his weapons pouch and double checked his gear for a second time, Mikoto and her oldest son stood in the doorway of their home as they sent the two younger nin on their way.

"I will be here when you return, Sasuke." Mikoto looked at her youngest with a sure smile exuding a warmth that hadn't graced her lovely face in days.

"Kaa-san…"

Itachi placed a strong hand on his otouto's shoulder. "You and Naruto-kun will be fine. I am sure Father would have wanted to see you off, but he is stretched thin whilst organizing security for the exam, as you know. And while Shisui and Izumi are both out of the village on missions, they send their love."

Sasuke nodded curtly while Naruto flashed his hosts a passionate thumbs up, eerily reminiscent of Kakashi's eternal rival. "Don't worry Mikoto-baa, Itachi-nii! I'll be sure to keep an eye out for our wittle Sasu-chyaaaan!"

Sasuke vowed internally to punch the Dobe in the face as soon as they turned the corner. He really couldn't wait for the next three days to be over with.


	6. Record Time

 

With nothing more than a sprained ankle and a busted lip with a few missing teeth between them (Sasuke suffered the former during the exam while inflicting the latter on his best friend at the finish line because, well… just because), the inseparable boys of Team 7 both ascended to the rank of jounin with the best timing out of all the exam participants.

"Sasuke Temeeeeee! Look what you did you piece of shit! How am I supposed to eat ramen without my fucking teeth, asshole!"

A limping Sasuke merely smirked in response. "Tch. Easy, just ask Kurama to grow you new ones."

"And they call you the genius! He's not a dentist you stupid fuck!"

Sakura and Kakashi shook their heads as they saw their boys trudging out the gates of the training grounds where the practical component of the exam was administered. Both pretended to look exasperated by Naruto and Sasuke's antics and colorful language, but neither was able to hide the sheer joy and immense pride they held for their two boys.

Sakura ran forward to envelop them both in a crushing hug. "Neeeee Sakura-chan… easy, easy! You're gonna fracture our ribs, dattebayo!"

Sakura took Naruto's busted face in her hands and squeezed his cheeks with proud tears in her eyes. "Look what the Teme did to me! Punish him, Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined, shamelessly gesturing to his missing front teeth and trying his hardest to throw his best friend under the bus.

"Don't worry Naruto. You know Hinata will think you're handsome and love you no matter what!" At that, Naruto's busted face broke out into an impossibly wide grin as he noticed his delicate Hinata-chan in the background, shyly waiting for him with a tin of her clan's signature salve in hand.

"Oiiiiiii! Hinata-chyaaaaan! LOOK AT ME, I FINISHED FIRST! I'M THE BEST! BELIEVE IT!"

He suddenly broke into a run towards the indigo haired heiress and captured her in one of his signature bear hugs. He then proceeded to plant a sloppy wet kiss on her bright red cheek before scampering off to Ichiraku with a properly mortified Hinata in tow.

Sakura giggled behind her hand at his antics when she felt the strong, steady chakra signature of her boyfriend pulsing beside her. She gazed up at him fondly, acutely aware of the people surrounding them.

"Congratulations, Sasuke-kun. I'm so happy for you and Naruto… I knew you'd pass."

"Hn."

Kakashi piped up next. "Do I even want to know what he said or did to warrant the loss of his front teeth?"

Sasuke smirked and merely shrugged in response. Kakashi ruffled his hair like he used to when they were genin, his visible eye crinkling as he smiled widely under this mask. "I'm proud of you, Sasuke, although I know you don't need me to say it. And I know I'm not the only one. Not because you passed, because I knew you would… but because of  _how_  you two passed." His former sensei gave him a knowing look before teleporting himself away in a flurry of leaves.

Sasuke suddenly felt a gentle tug on his sleeve. "Sasuke-kun, sit down for a moment. Let me heal your ankle, it'll only take a minute." As he slowly sat down onto the grass, Sasuke couldn't help being caught up in everything Sakura – her irresistible fragrance, the adoring gleam in her brilliant jade eyes, and the incomparable feel of her silky smooth fingertips as her soothing chakra pulsed through his ankle. He also couldn't help but notice the generous view of her incredible derriere as she bent over him, not pausing to right her posture until his ankle was perfectly set and healed.

As she looked directly into his onyx eyes with all of the love, hope and affection that a young woman's heart could bear, Sasuke suddenly couldn't bring himself to care about where they were or who was around. His body moved closer and closer to hers without prompting, as if he was a magnet hopelessly drawn to her. He just wanted to kiss the hell out of her plush lips when he heard a grating, obnoxious voice in the distance.

Both teens instantly moved to create more space between them.

"Congrats chibi grouch! Made it out in record time eh? Not bad, not bad at all! Oh heeeey there Sakura-chaaaan! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Shisui cooed flirtatiously at the popular pink haired medic, causing Sasuke's lips to thin in aggravation.

Izumi noticed Sasuke's hackles rising and immediately whacked Shisui in the shoulder. "Congratulations, Sasuke-kun! We're all so proud of you!"

Itachi leaned over and held his hand out to help his otouto stand with the warmest smile. "Congratulations, Sasuke. You and Naruto-kun impressed us with your performance."

As Sakura gracefully rose to greet the three older nin, Itachi continued.

"While the practical component may not have been billed as a collaborative trial, there were no rules against working with other participants. And the unique strategies you deployed in coordination with Naruto-kun not only in combat, but to ascertain the necessary codes to pass were unexpected, and did not go unnoticed."

Sasuke kept his expression even, but the squaring of his shoulders and the way he stood a little straighter showed how affected he was by his Nii-san's praise.

Sakura was positively beaming, and had to clasp her hands behind her back to keep from throwing her arms around her boyfriend's neck. 

_So that was what Kakashi-sensei was talking about..._

Shisui's smooth voice cut in. "Yeah yeah, so the little guy and his sidekick had some slick moves. But onto more important matters! Sakura-chan, you're coming to the party tonight, right?"

Sasuke shot a suspicious look over to this older cousin. "What party?"

"Your jounin celebration party, DUH!"

"No."

"Come on, don't be such a baby, chibi grouch! I've only been planning this for you and your now toothless BFF for  _weeks!_  You wouldn't wanna be rude to all of your guests now, would you? Everyone's coming!"

While it internally pleased Sasuke that his older cousin had apparently seen his promotion as a foregone conclusion, he still turned to Sakura with a terse,  _"You knew about this?"_

She replied with a nod and a sheepish grin. "Uh huh… Come on, Sasuke-kun! Everyone's prepared jounin gifts for you and Naruto already… he's going to be so excited, you have to go! It won't be so bad."

Izumi gave Sakura a playful wink. "Yup, Hinata-san knows all about it. And Itachi-kun and I will be there, too! This is a big deal, we have to celebrate!"

Sasuke shot his brother a look of betrayal, but sighed in resignation.

Izumi suddenly rummaged through her purse and extended a small box towards Sakura. "Oh, and Sakura-chan! Before I forget, this is some home-made dango for you. Kaa-chan and I can't thank you enough for healing her hip. You never mentioned you'd be coming by, so I didn't realize you had until Kaa-chan told me!"

Sakura's cheeks flushed pink as she realized she'd been found out. "Uhhh… ohhh… it's not a big deal, Izumi-san. I had just overheard from one of our nurses that she was in pain, so…."

"And she  _was_! Kaa-chan's been seeing one of our clan medics for months, but he's never been able to do more than numb the pain for a few hours at a time. Now she said her hip's as good as new! I know this dango isn't much, but it's Auntie Mikoto's recipe. Please take it as a thank you for helping my mother."

Sasuke looked over at his pink haired teammate, who was clearly embarrassed for being acknowledged this way. Of course Sakura took it upon herself to personally visit Izumi-nee's mother and heal what their clan medic failed to handle the moment she heard she was in pain… and did it without telling anyone, despite her already hectic schedule. Sasuke felt a corner of his lip creep up slightly, as a warmth began to build in his chest. Sakura's heart was always too big for her own good; she was always so selfless, striving to take care of others without seeking anything in return. His own heart radiated pride at the incredible woman she was, and he began to feel increasingly disinterested at keeping their attachment to each other a secret… outside factors be damned.

As Sakura shyly received the package of dango while thanking Izumi in return, Sasuke decided that as much as he wasn't looking forward to some loud party at a bar – he'd cooperate since Sakura wanted to go. His woman rarely asked for anything, so he resolved to attend this pain-in-the-ass gathering without further complaint.

"Sakura-san, we are under strict orders by my mother to bring Sasuke home as soon as he was finished. I have no doubt that she will have prepared enough food to feed a small army. Would you care to join us?" Itachi offered gently, so as not to fluster the pinkette any further.

"Ano, thank you for the invitation, Itachi-san. But Shizune-senpai is covering for me right now and I have to get back to work to finish my rounds. I will see you all later tonight though. Ja ne~" Sakura gave a delicate wave to the three older nin and directed a shy smile at Sasuke before heading off in the direction of the hospital.

Sasuke gave her the barest nod and a smirk in response, and turned to head in the opposite direction towards the compound.

Although his ankle had been fully healed, it still felt the slightest bit tender. Thus, Sasuke found himself having to move a bit faster to catch up to the older Uchiha trio walking ahead of him, when he heard Shisui's deliberately loud musing.

"Hmm… Itachi, was it just me or was our little guy ogling the hell out of Sakura-chan's ass back there?"

On cue, Sasuke ripped through a familiar set of hand signs, fully intending to incinerate every last strand of his older cousin's wavy hair.


	7. Well… shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory Disclaimer: NARUTO AND ALL CHARACTERS RELATED TO THE NARUTO MANGA IS OWNED BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO.
> 
> P.S. Only 1 more chapter left to go! Thanks for reading!

 

With his adrenaline levels tapering off and the pain from his ankle completely dissipated, Sasuke finally started to feel the weariness from his three day ordeal seep into his bones. At that moment, all he wanted was to take a hot bath and eat his mother's cooking.

Reflecting on his and Naruto's performance during the walk home, he still couldn't believe they successfully finished and pass the exam in record time. Now that he had achieved the first of his recent goals, it was time to man up and finally address the second.

Sasuke passed the threshold of his clan's compound with a heavy heart, and he continued walking towards his home lost in thought when he realized that the rest of their group stood frozen right outside the gates of the main house. Sasuke knew without being told what gave everyone pause. Some kind of strange additional ward had been placed on the house, one that wasn't usually there. Given the erratic nature of the chakra signatures within, it was apparent that the jutsu caster's hold on this unusual new ward was tenuous at best… and was easily dissolved by his Nii-san. Kunai in hand, the four Uchiha soundlessly passed through the front door when they were assaulted with certain… _sounds_  that left no doubt as to what was happening inside the formal reception room just beyond the genkan.

A broken feminine voice moaned out, _"Mmmmm, sa- sa- samurai-san… ah-hh! Gently… onegaaaaai!"_

Shisui's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

Then, a  _strained,_  deep baritone responded, _"Don't be shy Hime-chan, your danna knows what you need."_

Izumi squeaked helplessly in embarrassment, her face turning such a deep shade of maroon that Itachi half feared she might pass out. Without a word, she gave her fiancé a single nervous glance before swiftly leaving the house as stealthily as they came in.

Her involuntary peep apparently alerted the  _participants_  within of their presence… And after a beat of dead silence, all anyone heard was the frantic rustle of fabric and the sound of tatami mats being shuffled around.

In a stupor, Sasuke didn't even realize that he'd opened his mouth to speak until a single word weakly croaked out:

" _Kaa...san_?"

Mikoto didn't know if it was because she was in a state of shock, or because she hadn't heard her youngest call out to her in that small broken tone since he was a little boy… but regardless of the reason, she found herself responding to him –

" _Yes…. Sasu-chan_?"

Fugaku squeezed his eyes shut in defeat.

At his mother's response, Sasuke felt one foot tentatively move in front of the other, like he was experiencing some out of body experience. No one knew why Itachi didn't bother to stop him, but it was obvious why Shisui wasn't holding him back – he wanted to know what the hell was going on in there.

As Shisui and Itachi silently followed Sasuke into the formal reception room, three pairs of eyes slowly absorbed the scene.

A dark red samurai breastplate and a cheesy looking kabuto helmet was scattered haphazardly in a corner, along with a random katana. There were also what appeared to be various layers of long silk robes strewn about on the floor, but the mediocre quality of the silk and the shoddiness of the embroidery didn't align with anything the Uchiha matriarch actually owned herself, so…

Reluctantly, the boys finally met the eyes of their clan's patriarch and matriarch, sitting seiza at a healthy distance apart from one another with a surprising degree of dignity… given the circumstances.

Fugaku had apparently decided to forego wearing a shirt underneath that fake costume breastplate, and faced his boys and nephew bare chested, wearing only a pair of his pajama pants. Mikoto wasn't faring much better, as she was messily covered in what appeared to be a jūnihitoe costume (which explained the colorful cheap robes lying around).

Shisui suddenly shrieked, "Oh shit,  **THE BOOK**!"

All eyes in the room sharply followed his gaze to a copy of  _Icha Icha Tactics, Hardcore Edition_ , lying open and partly covered by one of the silk robes on the floor.

Sasuke felt like his brain had been throttled with a violent wind jutsu. Suddenly it all made sense - the pieces of samurai armour, the jūnihitoe costume…  _ **star crossed lovers**_ _…_

_**THE BOOK. THE BOOK. THE BOOK.** _

Sasuke blanched at the sudden realization, thankful to Kami that he hadn't eaten all day because he was fairly certain he wouldn't have been able to keep any food down at the moment. Itachi may have held onto his impassively stoic expression, but even he couldn't control the pasty grey tinge his face took on. Mikoto turned a violent shade of scarlet, while her husband merely sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Uncle, you're my hero!" Shisui reverently whispered, a look of worshipful awe radiating from his face.

Fugaku leveled a hard stare at his nephew. " **OUT**."

He didn't yell, but the Uchiha patriarch never had to.

Shisui squeaked like a pre-pubescent school girl, swiftly bowed and shunshin'd his ass out of there.

Fugaku next directed his gaze at his sons and barked, "Sit."

The brothers immediately obeyed as they assumed their seats in perfect seiza before their parents.

Their father cleared his throat. "This is… unexpected. You are  _very_ …..  _early_."

_Which explained oh so much._

Itachi dispassionately relayed the results of the exam. "Yes, Otou-san. Sasuke successfully passed the exam in record time, and he and Naruto-kun earned the highest number of tactical points out of all the exam participants for this cycle."

Fugaku's impassive expression remained, but the softening of his eyes at this news was unmistakable. He looked to his youngest son, and finally relaxed his shoulders. With pride in his voice, he said, "Well done, Sasuke."

Sasuke wordlessly bowed his head in respect, as he had been trained to do since he was a boy.

Mikoto seemed to momentarily table her embarrassment in favor of this impressive news. "Oh my, congratulations, Sasuke! We are so proud of you. Are you hurt?"

Sasuke looked to his brother, who smiled at him with his eyes. Encouraged, Sasuke responded, "I sprained my ankle, but Sakura already healed me."

Mikoto clasped her hands in front of her chest, so clearly happy to hear this. "Thank Kami for Sakura-chan! She was waiting for you by the gates, then?"

"Ah."

His mother was about to ask another question when Fugaku cleared his throat once more and gently placed a hand over his wife's own. "Mikoto, the boy looks tired. He should bathe and eat." This also served as a subtle but clear signal to all that the patriarch had no intention of discussing the elephant in the room – not now, or  _ever_.

"Ah, ha… of course! Take a long, hot bath, Sasuke. Food will be ready for you in an hour."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After being dismissed, both brothers slowly made their way up the stairs when Itachi motioned his otouto into his room.

"First of all, I take it you realize we are not to speak of…  _this_ ,  **ever again**."

Sasuke vigorously nodded, wanting nothing more than to try and burn what he had just witnessed downstairs out of his rattled brain forever.

Satisfied, Itachi continued. But not before his otouto noticed him holding something tightly wrapped in black velvet cloth.

"I know you are tired Sasuke, but I wanted to give you your jounin gift first."

Sasuke gingerly took the object from his brother and carefully unwrapped it from its velvet covering.

His eyes widened at what he saw. " _Kusanagi…"_  he breathed. "Nii-san…"

Itachi was known for a number of impressive kills over his storied career, but the one that held particular significance for his family was his defeat of Orochimaru at the age of sixteen. The village had gone haywire when news broke that a teenager had managed to kill the legendary rogue sannin. But the Uchiha clan wasn't as hung up on Itachi's age – he was a remarkable prodigy, after all. No, this kill was especially meaningful to the clan because everyone within the compound knew of Orochimaru's attempt to kidnap little Sasuke when he was just three years old - an attempt that was spectacularly foiled by a then eight year old Itachi.

Itachi never forgot the night Orochimaru tried to take his precious otouto away. As far as his 8 year old self was concerned, the snake sannin had signed his own death warrant by trying to abduct Sasuke, and the fiercely protective older brother in him vowed to be the one to defeat him. Upon killing Orochimaru, the young ANBU operative divested the sannin's corpse of the legendary Kusanagi, and brought it back to the Sandaime.

" _Tell me, Weasel, what should I do with this sword?" The Sandaime asked thoughtfully to his youngest ANBU captain._

" _Whatever you determine will be in the best interests of the village, Hokage-sama." The boy murmured respectfully, holding the sword out with both hands._

" _If it was left up to you, what would you do with it?"_

_The young captain took off his mask and looked at his Hokage with determination in his eyes. "I would entrust the sword to Sasuke."_

_The Sandaime smiled. "Be sure to have an uchiwa engraved onto the hilt, and make it so."_

Itachi calmly relayed this past exchange to his otouto, noticing how his eyes grew wider and wider as he took the story in.

"Nii-san… But… are you  _sure_? Shouldn't  _you_ – " Sasuke was quietly, but firmly cut off by his brother.

"Sasuke. I always believed that you would be strong enough to wield this, and I was right. The only other people that know about this are Kakashi-san, who was in the Sandaime's office with me at the time… and Otou-san." Sasuke felt himself suck in a quiet breath at this revelation. Itachi continued.

"They both believe that you are the best shinobi in the village to be entrusted with this, as do I. Kakashi-san has kept us apprised of your progress with lightening nature manipulation. Kusanagi can be a powerful extension of that, don't you think?"

Sasuke looked down for a beat, but soon lifted his head to meet his Nii-san's eyes with wonder and gratitude. Itachi's stoic façade relaxed into a soft smile. He slowly lifted his right hand and poked his otouto's forehead with his index and middle finger.

"Master this weapon and use it to protect your precious people… and our village."

"I will. Arigatou, Nii-san…"


	8. Loose Ends and the Highest High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory Disclaimer: NARUTO AND ALL CHARACTERS RELATED TO THE NARUTO MANGA IS OWNED BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO.
> 
> This is the FINAL Chapter: Thank you for reading my first ever attempt at writing a fanfiction piece. I really appreciate all of the feedback - I will keep your comments in mind for future writing!

 

When Sasuke and his brother arrived at the Yumei Lounge with Izumi later that night, they found the bar already packed to capacity.

While they hadn't arrived more than a half hour late, Naruto was already six sheets to the wind, loudly bragging and pointing at the customized jounin flack vest he was proudly wearing.

" _ **Theeemeeeeeeeeee!**_  Finally! Thook you long enough to thtyle that  _thtoopid_ duck-butt hair!"

Sasuke briefly wondered why the Dobe was speaking with a whistled lisp; he really sounded more stupid than usual (which Sasuke didn't think was possible) until he quickly remembered with deep internal satisfaction that his best friend was still missing some of his front teeth. In his drunkenness, the idiot had completely lost control of his ability to speak properly.

"Hey hey! Theee thith? Ithts my awthome jounin gifth from Hinatha-chyan dathebayo!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and merely pushed another shot of Kami-only-knows-what that he pulled from a passing server's tray into the Dobe's sweaty palm.

Of course, Naruto being Naruto – he downed the shot without a second thought (or a first thought, for that matter) and then proceeded to challenge an equally inebriated Kiba to a karaoke battle.

Shaking his head, Sasuke threaded his way through the crowd, nodding every once in a while at the congratulatory messages and pats on the back he received from his peers, when he spotted a familiar head of gravity defying silver hair.

"Glad to see you made it, Sasuke. Don't party too hard, though. Making jounin doesn't mean training's over."

"Hn. I already know that, old man."

"Mah mah, I'm not old... Just  _well preserved_."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but even he knew it was only half hearted.

"I'll give you tomorrow off, but the day after that we're going to resume training bright and early."

Sasuke nodded curtly in assent.

"Training ground 3, 8:00AM.  _Bring your Kusanagi_." Then, with a crinkle of his eye, Kakashi suddenly poofed away… the only evidence that he was ever there was the sound of Yamato yelling from across the room: " _But Kakashi-senpai! What about your tab?!"_

Sasuke snorted… typical Kakashi.

The more random well wishers he passed, the more cranky he got. Yes, it was nice and all to be recognized, but the bar was getting unbearably hot, and listening to the Dobe screech out a lispy chorus to some shitty pop song for the third time was going to give him an aneurysm. He really only came to this stupid party for one person… and she happened to be the one person he had yet to see.

**Until he finally did.**

Sasuke finally,  _finally_  saw a shock of pink in the crowd. It looked like a beacon was walking towards him from the direction of the women's bathroom. The masses seemed to part as he finally honed in on one Haruno Sakura… and his mouth would have fallen open if he was a lesser man.

There Sakura stood, wearing the shortest, tiniest scrap of sequined fabric masquerading as clothing that he'd ever seen. The bold green jewel tone of her delicate cowl neck halter dress clung to her luscious curves, draping over her breasts and backside, accentuating every irresistible slope and dip she had to offer. Her voluminous pink locks fell over her back in come-hither waves, and her long creamy legs held her balance in a pair of barely there, sky high, strappy nude colored stiletto sandals.

Sasuke knew there was no way he was drunk, but he couldn't help standing frozen on the spot and staring at her as if in a stupor.

Suddenly, another girl to Sakura's right pointed, turning her attention to Sasuke. And the dazzling smile that graced Sakura's lips lit up her emerald eyes, making her look even more gorgeous than she did just moments before.

Sasuke was broken out of his trance when he noticed an older nin approach his girlfriend's side, offering to buy her a drink. To Sasuke's indignant relief, he overheard Sakura politely decline without ever breaking her eye contact with him. Slowly, but steadily, she just kept walking towards him… ignoring other males' advances, just moving closer and closer until she was finally standing right in front of him.

With that beautiful smile and the most alluring blush settling over her cheeks, she said, "I wasn't sure you were coming, Sasuke-kun. I'm so glad you made it." To his immense satisfaction, she leaned forward and whispered breathily in his ear, "I hope you like my dress. I bought it Just. For. You."

Sasuke felt a familiar burning sensation at the back of his neck. He didn't trust his voice not to crack, so he merely nodded dumbly in response. But after a few beats, he finally managed to utter, "I like it."

While most women would have been peeved at this sparse compliment, Sakura just giggled. She knew her Sasuke-kun so well, after all. "I thought you might," she said shyly. Then, he noticed her hand move. Ever so slowly, but surely, towards his own.

Sasuke realized what she was doing. She was letting him know she was about to hold his hand… But in typical considerate Sakura fashion, she was thinking about his feelings and his comfort levels; wanting to make sure he was okay with this public display of affection, and giving him an out if he wasn't.

Sasuke finally took stock of where he was and everyone around them. The endless male eyeballs in the room that were glued to her face and figure, his family, their friends and colleagues… everyone he knew and cared about was here and would see…

And to Sakura's surprise, this realization seemed to only embolden him. With conviction and determination in his eyes, Sasuke was actually the one who closed the distance and wrapped her soft, small hand up into his own as he leaned in close to whisper,

" _Thank you, Sakura."_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sasuke couldn't tell you how much longer they were at the bar. For the rest of the night, he was caught up in his own little bubble with Sakura, either grasping her hand firmly in his own, or holding his long, calloused fingers to the small of her back while he navigated them through the crowds. And it didn't take long for Izumi's razor sharp eyes and those of everyone else to pick up on this development.

When the crowd heard a very drunk Shisui deviate from his karaoke prompt to suddenly scream out  **"My uncle is the undisputed OG!"**  Itachi and Izumi decided it was time to go. As Izumi rushed to pull a giddy Shisui off the stage, Itachi discreetly pulled Sasuke aside while Sakura helped Hinata pull bits of dried squid and empty umaibo wrappers out of the various pockets of a now passed out Naruto's brand new flack vest.

"We'll pack up your gifts in a scroll and take them home for you… in case you won't be returning with us this evening." Before Sasuke could sputter out some feeble denial, ears burning at the implication - Itachi was already gone.

He then felt Sakura's small hand softly squeeze his shoulder.

"Ano… Hinata mentioned that Itachi-san and Izumi-san were kind enough to pack up all the jounin gifts for you guys… But I still haven't given you mine."

He looked down to meet Sakura's loving green eyes. "You've already given me more than enough. You don't need to get me anything."

"Are you suuure you don't want my gift? It's not something anyone can buy, you know… It's more like something I thought you  _wanted to try…._

_**Together** _ _."_

Sasuke's mouth suddenly went bone dry and his eyes widened as he swallowed thickly. She gently placed her hands on his chest and reached up to whisper against his lips…  _"Does page 121 ring a bell?"_

Suddenly everything went blank.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Basking in the afterglow of the single most incredible and _ **astonishing**_  night of passion that he'd ever experienced in his life, Sasuke felt his erratic heartbeat and labored breathing finally,  _finally_  start to regulate themselves as Sakura's soft palm traced lazy circles on his chest. Even though his arms felt like jelly, he willed himself to gather enough strength to at least lightly massage her scalp and run his fingers gently through her hair. Just her low hum of approval at the welcome gesture made him happy in and of itself.

As his mental faculties slowly (seriously,  _very slowly_ ) returned, he finally remembered that small, minor question that vaguely popped up in the back of his head when they first teleported back to Sakura's apartment a few hours earlier.

"Sakura."

"Hmm?"

"How… how did you - "

At that, his naughty little minx cut him off with a giggle… which meant she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Well, I read your book… I was a little crafty and snuck it into my medical pouch that day, after….  _You know_."

The back of Sasuke's neck burrrrrrrned with the heat of a thousand suns.  _And then he nearly shot up in bed as he realized something_ _ **supremely awful**_ _._

… _If Sakura had secretly swiped his copy of Icha Icha and had it in her possession this whole week, then the copy the elder's discovered… and the book they caught his parents with must have belonged to…_

_**OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.** _

_(And did he and his father really have to share a habit of notating and earmarking their smut?!)_

Sasuke violently squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would make the horrific realization he just had go away.

Sakura's sweet voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Sasuke-kun? Are you alright?"

Sasuke willed his eyes open and tried to brush off his momentary break down as nonchalantly as possible. "Mm hmm… I'm fine. It's just… you didn't tell me."

"Why would I, silly? I wanted to do the things you earmarked because… I figured those were the ones you were most interested in. This was your jounin  _gift_ , remember? Recipients aren't supposed to know about gifts in advance."

"But there were… a few..."

Sakura actually laughed out loud at that, much to his displeasure. "Sasuke-kun, there were a LOT." And in her typical  _annoying_  fashion, she  _kept on_  giggling.

"But why… How - why  _that_  one."

That shut her up for some reason, and her voice dropped to a level that she knew he found irresistible. "That one seemed special because it was the only one with a  _ **star**_  marked next to it."

Sasuke froze in unprecedented embarrassment, and almost wished he was anywhere but there…

_Almost_.

"Oh come on, Sasuke-kun. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I'm not embarrassed," he spat out, convincing no one. "It's just… I was just curious… how it worked. In an academic way, of course… because it shouldn't be possible." He tried his best to sound serious, but he still refused to meet her gaze.

Sakura decided not to tease him any further, and just responded matter-of-factly. "You're right. It isn't possible…  _for most people_. But there is a way to make it work,  _if you have perfect chakra control._ "

At that, Sasuke whipped his head to stare at her in wonder. "Wait – you've done this before?"

Sakura huffed in annoyance. "What are you talking about? You know that's not possible; stop being crazy. Of course not!"

"Then how did you know it would… work?"

At that, Sakura blushed furiously and started to absently fiddle with one of his nipples. She was disappointed to find that it wasn't as distracting for him as it usually was, because Sasuke only gave her a look of impatience, pushing her to elaborate.

"Fine! It was…  _ughhhhhh,_   _ **Shishou**_   _told me._ "

Sasuke's mouth actually gaped as he swatted her hand away. "Are you  _crazy_?! You asked the _Hokage_  about this?!"

"Relaaaaax Sasuke-kun, it's no big deal… I swear! She's the one who's always getting sloppy drunk and blabbing about this sort of thing to me and Shizune-senpai."

Sasuke blinked his eyes hard in disbelief. He really didn't know how to take this. Knowing that the Hokage was getting sloshed and filling his girlfriend's head with all kinds of kinky…

_Actually, maybe it wasn't the worst thing in the world._

Suddenly (unfortunately), a random conversation he overheard once between Kakashi and the Dobe came to mind.

" _As interesting and thrilling as this all is, even I know that Icha Icha isn't completely realistic."_

_An indignant Naruto vehemently disagreed. "It is too, old man! Ero-sennin may be a super duper pervert but he's a shinobi of the Leaf, and he has principles, dattebayo! He assured me that he personally tested everything he writes about, and he wouldn't include anything in his books that was impossible or wasn't true!"_

Sasuke mentally put two and two together… So, if the Pervy Sage had personally tested all of these positions (shudder), but the particularly awesome one he and Sakura tried tonight required a  _ **perfect level of chakra control**_ that to his knowledge,  _only one other person had_ , then…

Sasuke blanched.

Call him an insensitive jerk, but he really WAS NOT AT ALL interested in the…  _relations_  of the  _elderly_ , his parents or otherwise. Or anyone else for that matter, other than his own.

He was pulled out of this repellent train of thought by the sound of Sakura taking something… a _soup ladle_ , out of her bedside nightstand. She flirtatiously tapped him lightly on the nose with said cooking utensil as she straddled him suggestively.

"You know, there are a few other earmarked pages that we haven't gotten to yet… Care to give them a go?"

And for the nth time that night, Sasuke thanked every deity that was listening and every star in the sky for the incomparable kunoichi in his arms, and lost himself to bliss.

**THE END**


End file.
